Each client is invited (and encouraged) to join a 6-week Peer-Support, Zoom, Circle to feel the support and wisdom of those in a similar time of life as you...dealing with a newborn.
Here at DCBD, we have found that our clients really benefit from connection with others that are also in the newborn phase...and enjoy meeting a community of people that are probably also awake at 3am and problem solving the minutia of infant soothing.
Problem Solving on the fly is a helpful discussion topic during our postpartum circles.
Remember, the ideal time to problem solve regarding infant care, feeding methods, sharing responsibilities and managing first time outings is when both baby and parent(s) are calm & rested. However, the reality of problem solving is that you are often figuring stuff out when your little one(s) are not calm. Do your best... and please let others know when you need help!
Tip #1 - Spaghetti on the wall method of problem solving
This method involves trying everything and hoping that something works (a valid strategy)
allow yourself to hear suggestions from others
trust that when you (the student) are ready, the teacher will appear (something you read or hear will resonate with your situation and help you solve todays concern)
decision fatigue is very real during the early days of postpartum
write down your concerns so you remember to bring them up at circles or with your postpartum doula
Tip #2 - Timing Matters
Try something new (feeding position, front pack set-up) when you and baby are calm and rested
If that rested & calm moment never comes, call in an expert (friend, postpartum doula) and ask for help...there are always more options
If you feel yourself getting stuck and feeling alone, isolated or overwhelmed...call 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262) for free, confidential support
Tip #3 - Confidence Comes From:
Knowing how to Pivot...
Trying new things or broaching new topics...often means realizing quickly when to retreat and try again later
Accepting that what other people think is out of your control...
if you are trying something new in public, just let others own their own discomfort :)
How you think (and how that translates into your behaviors) is OK + how another person thinks (and responds to you) is also OK (again, try not to take on another persons' stuff)
Tip #4 - Offer Grace Often
Problem solving can be enhanced by thinking the best of others' motivations (baby, partner, friends, parents, in-laws)
...and the more we experience grace from others, the easier it can be to offer it to ourselves!
Tip #5 - Ask for advice from your Support Team (Cheering Squad)
Come to Circles, ask questions to your peer-cohort, connect with a lactation specialist, postpartum doula, experienced friend, trusted family member...
Perhaps take a 5 minute walk or sit by the window and soak in some vitamin D before figuring your next step
You are not alone as you are becoming the expert on your little one!
Depending on your situation, problem solving may include a variety trained professionals, but ultimately you will be making the best decisions that you can for your family, with the resources that you currently have. Take a breath- take the time you need, and try not to second guess yourself as you do the next right thing.
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